||86||: This May Catch You By Surprise

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Photo by Karolina Grabowska

When I don’t know what to do or where to start I find my answers in the quiet. I find that my overthinking lowers in volume while doing ordinary things, and while talking to myself, I find the solutions.

The same happens when I’m writing for a post. When I decide to write it can either be a smooth message and completed in 1 hour or I spend an hour upset that I don’t know what to write. Then everything I write I dislike because it feels like I’m trying to force myself to produce something grudgingly, like you better write this T or you can’t leave your room today. (Inhale – exhale) That doesn’t work, so I take a break, sing or listen to music, and soon the words just flow.

I find my ideas in the flow of things. Sometimes what I share with you is exactly what I need to hear from myself, my closest friend.

“Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.”

Napoleon Bonaparte

Last night I joined family in a Zoom meeting where we celebrated my cousins birthday. We were encouraged to dress up and share kind words for our fellow relative. I decided to wear makeup, it’s been nearly month that I’ve opened my cosmetics box and wore a dress out of my formal section. The dress felt tight, itchy and so not me.

I’m surprised to say things have changed and I’m not feeling these dresses and I don’t plan to lose weight to fit them, I love my shape, I love the power of owning who I’m becoming. Even when wearing the makeup I applied felt odd. I’m not feeling the over done look and I have forgotten how to wear makeup. I’d rather get an extra hour of sleep each day, so I’ve shaved my head and focus more on skincare. I’m reminded that I do best when I’m natural and things flow. I do best when I take a deep breath, rest my anxious mind and listen to what feels right for me. What feels right for me is natural fibers, natural hair and embracing who I am without the superfluous.

This may catch you by surprise when you reflect on the day to day, that what was once a priority is not even a thought in your mind.

The woman with 50 dresses doesn’t even wear or enjoy frilly formal dresses. The woman who went to church everyday would rather sit with you at lunch and share something encouraging and inspiring about the day to day. The woman who sang in a formal setting with the click of a finger would rather sing to those who are shut in and in need of meditative healing. The woman who obsessed about purchasing many fitness gadgets, would rather walk outdoors, stretch and share a home cooked meal with loved ones. The woman who loves her solitude and like introversion, wants to be close to family and friends because I need my people and my community.

In the quiet you’ll learn deeper revelations about yourself, that are real, spiritual and far more complex…

I don’t know about you, but I cannot hold on to the extra. So when I’m faced with the very thing or habit that I hold dear and it doesn’t make sense to continue, I let it go. I know others may not understand and not everyone needs the memo on your current life choices.

When I approach a new birthday and the arrival of a new year, I challenge myself to do things differently. I challenge you to find a few minutes in your day to reflect (the most quiet portion of your day morning or midnight), not to force your thoughts in any direction, just to listen to what comes to mind and then decide what to do next.

I hope that in your moments of quiet, you allow the change to manifest in your life, you allow good things to be part of the new you and you weed out the unnecessaries the things, people and activities that hinder and don’t add value to your growth.

Love,

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